so this is what i do with my life:
there is this noise that is in all the reggaeton songs when they mix them at parties. its this airhorn noise and its always so interruptive and out of place... i looovee it. and now i run around making this noise and everyone recognizes what it is and laughs so much. i think they realize how gay that noise is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcBYYWe1rEQ&feature=related
^ 0:28 and 0:39

wayyyy better example, but its not reggaeton..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjANdvDoUBc&feature=related
^ 0:09 and even better at 2:33

LOLOL i love that noise.

this is not even funny. its just cruel. </3

And to those last 10 years
I've been howling a paper moon.
Well fuck you.

As all this earth grows, I'm planted,
that's some pull.

Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2009. Post the first line of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review."


JAN - 2008 wasn't such a bad year.. but I hope 2009 will be spectacular. We'll see.. nothing to say so for it yet.

FEB - I've been having so many dreams lately that I don't like at all.

MARCH - I want to live like Henry David Thoreau did when he wrote "Walden."

APRIL - Yesterday was the first rugby tournament of the season.

MAY - So as I'm rewriting my story previously titled, "Run", I now realize that I haven't had a dream about waves or water in an unusually long while.

JUNE - Last week at this time, Brandon and I were sharing a brownie sundae at The Naked Turtle.

JULY - I just wrote my final paper for my WMS 301 class: Global Perspectives on Women Issues.

AUGUST - [I didn’t write a single entry in August.]

SEPT - Where did it all go wrong?

OCT - [Not a single one in October either.]

NOV - I could update all of the things that have been happening in my life lately, but that would take utterly too long.

DEC - [I haven’t posed one this month either, but I were to write an entry right now, the first line would be: “It's the last night and I just got back from hanging out with Bridgit, Emily, Josh, and Joe, and I have to say this was a pretty darn good semester.”]

well today was pretty god damn interesting. :D yes.
i finally met bryan... online he kind of weirded me out but in person i really really liked him. :X we danced all night and it was half spanish/ half english because he lived in new york for a while and he id going back in september.... hmm that isnt really good timing or anything.
where is my mind mind mind.
oh and ps, i loveeeee my guy friends here. I LOVE THEM. <3 <3

you know what kind of makes me feel weird:
in class here, we study lenin and marx and i don't know a thing about them. yeah sure i've heard their names, but all i've ever heard was assosiated with bad and wrong. here we learn about their ideas and theories and i'm not just talking about socialism and whatnot. real philosophy and shit that i have never studied in the US. the more time i spend here, the more i doubt the US and what theyre doing over there... what they are teaching us, hiding from us, engraving in us. it's odd. i'm not saying i'm all pro anything and revolting against all.. but i'm going to start reading about all the stuff in the USA that i haven't been learning about.
did you know that the best doctors and best medical care, best teachers, best students in latin america all aim and aspire to go to cuba. that is where all the best is, they tell me. i learned that the prostitutes there are scholars and students. hmm, what do i know about cuba? exactly.
when you see poverty like this, real fucking poverty, everyday... it starts to get to you. and if it doesn't then you're not seeing anything when you look. i'm telling you. shit's twisted and sometimes i don't know what to think. where is the line between selfless and taking care of yourself. who puts the price tags on this shit anyway?

my mami just weirded me out so much by being all "mija, we need talk. i have to ask you something.... i need a favor....." and then i was all creeped out because it was dead silent and she paused a long time and then said, "i need you to make big letters that spell out feliz navidad because i have no time. i'm stealing the idea that your family did for you for your birthday... im going to take pictures of each person in our family with a letter and then send the photos to denisse and gabriela for christmas... but i have no time to do it so i want you to do it."
so that's just typical mami but at least i have something to do. what a db diva though.

anywhozer, i just found a ton of books on being a free mason and whatnot in this house, but theyre in spanish... but theyre like for real manuals and i cannot fckn wait to read them. i love secret societies and ancient civilizations lately. basically, thats about it.

we don't know anything.

i feel like the world makes SO MUCH sense but then it makes no sense at all. talor was talking about how her mom is freaking out about what she will do for college (the girl wants to be a nurse, she's fine damnit. she knows what she wants.) but her mom was saying like, "the economy is going down talor! we are in debt to china! that's where the world is going." what does that even mean. i think about chinese people invading the USA and shit and it's weird in my head. and i think about just being a starving artist in a dark time or some shit because that sounds romantic. right now i just keep reading about the mayas tons and tons and think i want to study them and other old native cultures and whatever but where is that going to get me...? is that going to matter to anyone? does it even matter to anyone now? (it only matters that it matters to you, kelsey.) yeah yeah yeah. i don't have a clue what fucking hard work is or what its like to ache so much over shit that literally is a matter of living or dying. but i sit around and complain and stay up all night so i can sleep all afternoon and my body just hates me. HATES me. and i hate myself for my body. its just sick. why are we such masochists sometimes? remember when i was inspirational, supposedly, and this journal was full or pictures and writing and things that werent me bitching?....

i want to wake up and slowly acclimate to the cold outside of my covers. walk downstairs in whatever im wearing without a bra and eat whatever i want. then sit in MY bed and be lazy. text people unlimitedly. finally shower and sing so mofo'ing loud with the music LOUDD. and then dress myself in sweaters and boots. wait for about 330, when cheryl and sarah will pull into my driveway and i will climb into the yaris. we will then drive to clay and eat some food.. probably chilis or apple bees and i will eat nachos. then we can go to the mall and target and i can buy things for my family for christmas. and then we will go to cheryls house and climb into her big bed and watch movies and snuggle with larry. and momma swayze will make us apple crisp.

that's what i'm feeling like today.

at 2:14 AM i wrote:
went to a debutante dinner. hated it. sometimes i get so sick of watching this fucking high class robots show off their shit and talk about nothing. 15 year old girls in $10,000 dresses with aspirations of fake noses and boobs while people are dying on the street outside their house because they NEVER had a chance. sorry.... anyway- stole anna. escaped to my empty house. completely sober. saturday. (sunday?) we and i talked all night about fucking shit. all this fucking disgusting shit that people think they can do. i could just punch them all. how does this stuff happen? we smoked cloves in my driveway behind the iron gates and electric fence at 1 AM. this hooded dude wearing all black was walking the streets and going up to peoples gates blowing a whistle... what the fuck? we hid in the kitchen blowing smoke out the crack in the door. we ate popcorn. she left. i just feel like nothing. i want to snuggle with someone. i want it to downpour and i want to lay in some grass. i want to kiss juan pablo. the same songs on repeat over and over. everything. everything. everything. i am living the strangest mix of numb and ecstatic.

now it's 12:43 PM:
my phone rang at 4:31 AM... a number i didn't know, i ignored it 3 times, awake enough to brave the 4th. juan pablo. in english (lol, so good. so much accent.) "i'm so drunk right now. and i love your voice. and i say, i have to hear this voice. and it's so stupid because i don't know you, but i just feel like one of those people.. those adictos? addicts. i need more of you all the time. and i want to have you in my arms and look in those beautiful eyes. falta un poquito hermosa."
i just kick around and smile in my bed like a baby. <3